Yes, I am on social media. And no, I’m not very active. An honest word about mental health and setting boundaries.

“You gotta be there! It’s not enough to simply have a website, you must be present on scocial media! Which platform? – ALL the platforms!”

Of course, if you know anything about web marketing, you know this is true. And I know it too. If you want people to see/buy/adore your stuff/artwork/writing/whatever you need to meet them where they are, which is social media.

The chance of somebody stumbling over your website by accident is slim. Embed your URL in an extensive web eco system of links and re-links to and from social media. They teach you this in web marketing. And still I recommend doing exactly this.

Yet I fail to do so myself. Yes, I do have accounts on some of these platforms. But I don’t use them to promote my artwork which apparently is very stupid. After all, all it takes is a tiny little post at a time. It’s no hard work, really. Anybody could do it. Just a click and wait for the likes and comments and follows.

Much wow, so overwhelm

There are days when I say “Hell, yes, just do this!” and dive head-first into conversations and socialising. And there are the other days, when I just want to sit there and quietly exist. Even answering to the shortest of messages with the shortest of replies is too much then. I never knew why this was such an issue because nobody else seemed to have these problems.

The answer is executive dysfunction, one of the more disturbing symptoms of ADHD. I am aware that something needs to be done, e.g., answering messages. In fact, very much aware. Painfully aware. But my brain is not able to produce and transport enough dopamine to critical systems to actually get it done. Which feels as if I were are imprisoned in my own body at times.

Posting content on social media is one thing, but harder is getting prepared to receive feedback and reply to it, committing mental and time resources to the process of interaction. This also causes low-key anxiety and executive dysfunction.

Anxiety and perfectionism

Interaction can be very exhausting for people with ADHD or other neurodivergent operating systems. Often, a wrong sense of perfectionism destroys your time management. A reply needs to be well thought through, it needs a lot of attention. This over-perfectionism is a result of being critisised far too often in childhood for not having paid enough attention, so us ADHDers try to compensate hard for whatever failure we expect ourselves to make. All to not endure yet another rejection or rebuke.

So, in short: yes, I am on social media. And yes, you are very welcome to contact me there. But don’t expect to see much content from me on there. I can’t handle to care for interaction on all these platforms, it’s too overwhelming. I’m happy to care for this website and post new content here. I will probably never get many followers this way but my mental health is more important to me.

It took me a long time to learn this but I’m very lucky. Lucky to get this chance of understanding myself better by means of my diagnosis. And lucky to finally being able to allow myself to be authentic and open in communicating my boundaries.

Does this struggle sound familiar to you? You are allowed to set boundaries, too. You are not alone.