In my last post about my ADHD diagnosis I briefly mentioned the medication that I got from the doctor. Time to look a bit deeper into that topic. There is a lot to discuss because there are so many different meds and side effects but I admit that my experience is very limited. Therefore I will stick to describing stimulants in this blog post. These are meds like Ritalin, Concerta or Medikinet. They usually get prescribed as a first step.

Before we start, here’s the Disclaimer of High Importance: Never medicate yourself, always consult a doctor! You will have to consult a doctor anyway because you can’t simply buy these meds at a pharmacy – that’s illegal for very good reasons. These meds can do a lot of harm if taken without prescription and monitoring.

Let’s get the elephant out of the room first

I know that there are good reasons why people are apprehensive about ADHD medication. They are bound to have a big impact on your health and psyche, for better or worse. Both happens, sometimes at the same day. And it doesn’t help that there are still some very harmful clichés getting propagated even though they’re fake or based on incomplete or misunderstood information. Let’s have a look at these prejudices and check if there’s truth in them:

• Meds like Ritalin are used to transform children into docile little zombies. This is the one I hear most. And it’s based on ignorance because most people don’t even know what Ritalin is or how it’s supposed to work. When asked what Ritalin is, they say something like “Well, it’s a tranquiliser to stop the kids from fidgeting!“ Errr, nope. Sorry to pop your bubble but meds like Ritalin, Concerta or Medikinet are as far away from being tranquilisers as possible. They are in fact stimulants. ADHD brain chemistry reacts in a paradox way to stimulants: It calms us down and reduces the noise and chaos in our brains (more about this and how stimulants work in a future blog post). That said, yes, it can happen that a formerly active and happy child experiences depressive mood swings or even lethargy with methylphenidate. This may be a result of overdosing or the body may not have adjusted to the med yet. More about dose and adjusting effects below.
  
• Meds can have severe adverse effects on health and psyche. Yes, they can have these effects. Because they affect brain chemistry on a basic level. Meddling with brain chemistry is usually not a good idea because we still don’t know all we need to know about it. Also, they affect blood pressure, pulse and need to get processed by kidneys or liver. This is why our doctors should keep a close eye on us and should have our blood analysed regularly. You should never experiment with medication unless your doctor trusts you to handle it responsibly and in little dosage. If handled irresponsibly, stimulants can cause addiction and heart failure. Another reason for adverse effects: The much-dreaded rebound. When the meds stop working, there’s a drop of dopamine levels in the brain and the ADHD symptoms come back with a vengeance. For about half an hour (or sometimes longer) we experience all kinds of severe symptoms. After a while, dopamine levels are back to their usual too-low levels and we experience just the normal chaos.
  
• ADHD is just an invention of the pharma industry to make money out of children who aren’t really ill. This one really gets to me on so many levels. I don’t even know where to start. If you’ve been following my blog and read the previous posts about ADHD and neurodiversity, then you’re aware that there is scientific proof that ADHD is real. It’s not an invention of the pharma industry. Why else should stimulants calm us down if there wasn’t a significant biological difference in our brains, FFS? Of course the pharma industry earns money with producing the meds. That’s the whole point of an industry. Now you may ask “But how come so many kids get suddenly diagnosed with ADHD? In my day, we didn’t have all those ill-mannered kids.” Sure, you didn’t have kids with ADHD, just lots of little traumatised children who didn’t get any recognition or help and who are now traumatised adults. Awareness has spread and diagnostic tools have been developed so all ADHD kids of today hopefully will turn into well-balanced and happy adults. As to wether ADHD is an illness: No, it isn’t. Not by any definition. It’s a developmental disorder not an illness. Illness implies having a begin and different stages. ADHD is a lifelong challenge. Its symptoms vary over the course of decades, years or even minutes but it’s not fatal and it doesn’t ever go away. But because it impairs our daily lives, our social interactions and our health, many people consider it having the same social and mental effects as an illness. And here’s the catch: meds can help alleviate these effects.

Personal experience

When I took the first pill, I didn’t know what to expect. I was super excited and scared. I sat there and waited. Waited for something, for anything to happen. How would it feel? Would it be miraculous? Would I become a different person? Would I get superhuman organisational powers and manage all daily tasks in a single hour? Without hurting myself on the furniture? Nothing happened, for a good while. Then, I got up and did my chores. With total calm and clarity in my head. I didn’t even notice at first because it was so subtle. It was a bit like meditating, a feeling that I’m familiar with. Sounds were no longer too loud or too distracting. It wasn’t an epiphany and I didn’t become superhuman but it felt very comfortable and pleasant. Was this the proof?

But still I doubted. Was I an impostor? Was the dose so low that it couldn’t trigger a reaction, and my brain was perfectly normal after all? I needn’t have worried. After two and a half hours, the rebound hit me hard. Like an oncoming tsunami wave, I could feel something building up inside and it crashed into my head with full force within mere seconds. It left me completely unable to focus on a single thought. I lost the ability to read even a short sentence and got stuck in paralysis with an incomprehensible whirlwind of loud noise in my head. I was only functional on a most basic level. I got to know the true difference between “med working” and “med not working”.

It took me months to arrive at a stable, reliable dose. If you want to try medication, prepare to be patient. (Yeah, right, because patience is our strong point – not.) I’ve heard of ADHDers who took the pills only for a week and threw them away because they didn’t work correctly. But a week is too short. Your body needs time to adjust. Most of the unpleasant side effects like heart palpitation or head ache goes away once your body is used to the substance. This is not to be mistaken for a sign of addiction; ADHD dosage is so low that addiction is impossible. You can stop taking the meds at any time and will have no withdrawal effects besides maybe the Mother of a Rebound. (Remember, I’m only talking about stimulants here. Other meds need to be weaned from slowly!)

With stimulants, you start with a low dose for maybe two weeks. Then, successively, the dosage gets higher until you reach a optimal level. There’s a huge catch though: the dose is different for everybody and also variable. It doesn’t work the same on any day. Our body is not a predictable machine. On some days (think PMS, girls), the usual dose isn’t enough and you need to exactly time a second pill. On some days, there’s rebound but not always. On some days, when I’m not eating enough or drink too much coffee, I become overdosed and squirrely. Medication is not an easy solution for “turning people into docile zombies”.

This all sounds rather creepy. Why should I even consider taking meds?!

Because they work. Provided it’s the correct med and the correct dose. In our society which doesn’t accommodate people like us, medication can help in avoiding constant burnout. In an ideal world, we would not need any meds because we’d be able to live a self-determined life that caters to our social and sensory limits and our creative strengths. But the need to adhere to the rules and regulations of societal expectations and a nine-to-five job is an insurmountable task for us. It may work a few years, or even decades. But burnout will come, sooner or later. Medication can keep it at bay. It’s no magic potion but it’s no devil’s work either. Like glasses that can help you see better, meds are a way to help you function better. It’s a tool and you can decide for yourself if or in what situations you use it.

I hope this post was helpful in demystifying Ritalin et al and shedding some light on misconceptions and prejudices.

Nice to meet you, Myself!

The journey of a late diagnosed adult – all parts of the blog series:

1. Disclosure – You have what?! – Harmful prejudices in society
2. Childhood – Growing up being different – Factors that influence ADHD
3. Hyperfocus – An ADHD superpower that comes with a price
4. Excitement and Connecting – The Ugly Duckling
5. Stages of Grief – making peace with what could have been
6. At the doctor’s – The first appointment wasn’t quite what I expected
7. Medication – Pros and cons and common misconceptions about meds

★ to be continued ★

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basic everyday stuff and life hacks

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor or qualified medical person. If you experience health issues, mental or physical, please get help from a professional. This website is not meant to give medical advice, just some basic information and examples about what it means to live with Autism or ADHD. Symptoms vary strongly between individuals.

My sources

When I’m writing about symptoms of neurodivergent disorders, the information comes from several sources: One of my main sources is ADXS.org, a site available in English and German. I also consult other sites, preferably with professional medical background. I usually don’t consult blogs of private persons if information can’t be verified.

Some things are my own observation and have been compared with other sources. I strive for accuracy and verified information. It’s not easy as a lot is still unknown about neurodiversity and many clichés are still being published that have been proven wrong years ago. If you stumble about somethings that you know for a fact is wrong, please get in touch by using either the comment form or the contact form.