Excitement and connecting – Ugly Duckling

In October 2023, it dawned on me that I may have ADHD. What followed was an intense research. Could it be true? What is ADHD anyway? What are the symptoms and what causes it? Is there a cure? I did the self test on ADXS.org because it seemed more extensive than the other tests which only have five or six questions (ironically, the initial professional test also has only few questions which I find odd for a condition that is so complex).

The result of my self test, for ADHD as well as HSP were clear as I suspected. Further research told me all I needed to know. Nevertheless, I was hesitant as I joined a Facebook group I stumbled upon. But my doubts were quickly dispersed: the group was so friendly and supportive with people from all over the world who shared a common feature. All of them were neurodivergent in some way: ADHD, Autism, AuDHD, Bi-polar and so much more.

I laughed about the funny memes as I recognised myself in them. I empathised with people who shared their struggles in day-to-day life. And slowly, something like relief and security came to me. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t an alien on a strange planet where people didn’t understand me. These friendly FB strangers were my long-lost tribe. They were the same level of alien as me. The people I never knew I was missing but I was so happy now that I found them. I felt understood and seen like maybe for the first time in my life truly.

Those who know me are aware that I almost never post on social media, and this was also true now. I rarely joined the discussions in the group but I absorbed every bit of information, encouragement and helpful strategies that I could.

One of my favourite fairy tales as a child was “The Ugly Duckling”. The poor little child was cast out because they were different and that hit close to home. But the story gave me hope because in the end, the duckling found their true family and turned out to be not a duckling at all but a swan. I wouldn’t claim for myself to be a swan but I sure often felt like a goose between ducks. And I would’ve been happy if only somebody would’ve told me earlier that I could stop trying so hard to be a duck and start behaving like a goose instead.

This is what I would recommend to everybody who thinks they may be ND: Go looking for your peeps, they’re out there. On social media it has become so easy to connect. Even if you’re like me and don’t engage in conversations, it sure helps a lot just realising that you are not alone in your struggle.

Nice to meet you, Myself!

The journey of a late diagnosed adult – all parts of the blog series:

1. Disclosure – You have what?! – Harmful prejudices in society
2. Childhood – Growing up being different – Factors that influence ADHD
3. Hyperfocus – An ADHD superpower that comes with a price
4. Excitement and Connecting – The Ugly Duckling

★ to be continued ★

additional articles related to neurodivergence,
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My sources

When I’m writing about symptoms of neurodivergent disorders, the information comes from several sources: One of my main sources is ADXS.org, a site available in English and German. I also consult other sites, preferably with professional medical background. I usually don’t consult blogs of private persons where information can’t be verified. Some things are my own observation and have been compared with other sources. I strive for accuracy and verified information. It’s not easy as a lot is still unknown about neurodiversity and many clichés are still being published that have been proven wrong years ago. If you stumble about somethings that you know for a fact is wrong, please get in touch by using either the comment form or the contact form.