Happy New Year!

May it bring health and happiness! I’ll not go into what a rough year 2020 has been because that would merely state the obvious. I’d rather focus on wishing everybody the best possible year 2021, with new and fresh energy and a brand-new optimistic outlook for the future. Be healthy, creative and do what you love most. <3

Here’s an update on art stuff, old and new

Not much has happened lately; it appears I had a massive artblock last year. It all felt kind of stale and I couldn’t motivate me at all. It’s slowly receding now and I find myself picking up the pencil more often. But I won’t go into detail of what may come this year in terms of comics or other artwork. Only that Hive 53 is not forgotten. The Wraith have wandered back into my drawings and I still find I’m having fun with them. Even though Stargate seems to have largely vanished from public attention, I’ll continue to draw these guys, if just for myself and the giggles I get from them. I’ll continue to share them here, on dA and Facebook, for those who get giggles from them too.

I’m not sure if I have shared the following thoughts already in my journals. Talking about artblock can be painful, a bit like admitting some sort of imaginary defeat. Like, you’re a machine that has ceased to function, no longer capable of cranking out artwork. People keep frequently asking what you drew lately. Or you keep asking yourself what did you accomplish of worth lately. “Nothing at all, because I can’t motivate myself to pick up the bloody pencil and stare at a blank page for an eternity”, sounds very defeatist and isn’t widely understood in a company of non-artsy people.

A while ago, I kept asking myself why I stuck to Hive 53 because drawing fancomics from copyrighted material pays no bills. I continuously felt guilty because I pressured myself into thinking “Why don’t you draw something that you can actually sell instead of wasting your time?” Needless to say, this caused another massive artblock. But I kept asking myself why drawing made me unhappy when, as a child, there was no happier pastime for me? I would just sit hours at a time, completely immersed in my fantasy world that took shape on the paper and my mind kept leaping from idea to idea, like, being completely in the flow state and at peace. Why does that not happen anymore?

One of the reasons is simple. Growing up from childhood exposes you constantly to the judgement and opinions of other people. People who are your role models, people who know confidently they know the right way of doing things, of earning money. “Why do you keep wasting your time with drawing stuff that no one will buy?” Wasting. Your. Time. Children are allowed to “waste their time” but once we grow to a certain age, performance is expected. We get so conditioned that it’s not allowed to “waste time” and when we grow up, we have been trained what “wasting time” is. Anything that doesn’t advance us an artist, anything that can’t be sold is “wasted time”.

Finally I got to my senses; if I don’t draw for fun anymore, why draw at all? I trashed the guilt and the plans to publish an original comic. In my job, I have to draw what I’m told but I have no intentions to bring that pressure into my leisure time anymore. To hell with it all, I’ll only draw what I like and if that includes green aliens from another galaxy, so what?

… This post got way longer that originally intended, but it felt good to share this, even if nobody might read it. If you’re reading this and feel familiar with this kind of artblock, and my words could help you get out of it in any way, it’d make me very happy.

TL;DR: Don’t let anybody make you feel guilty about your creativity; you’re unique, your art is unique. Just do what you love and what makes you happy, it will turn out best because it has your heart in it.


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